I worked an eight hour shift this morning and then had the rest of the day to just kinda tinker around with Jen. We went to the post office and the bank, then the mall so she could buy a long board and I bought some pants, because it's physically impossible for me to go to a mall and not buy pants. I've got a weird pants...thing.
So we went to see her Mom at the salon she works at in the mall and she had an application for Jen for some new clothing store that's going in, and she had an extra and asked if I wanted to fill it out, and I'm only getting about 25 to 30 hours a week at Jamba, so I was like, sure why not? I've worked at a clothing store before, it'll be a blast from the past, maybe I can pick up like 15 hours, whenever I'm not working at Jamba. So we went to turn in our applications and he was like...interviewing us, and he hired me on the spot and told Jen he'd let her know. But the thing is...he was asking me like, who are you loyal to? Us or Jamba? And I was like ...well Jamba, I've been with them for two years, c'mon now. And he's making it seem like he wouldn't work around my schedule, and I had to like have my days completely open and stuff. So I was kinda quiet, just taking it in, nodding a lot because he was like, Vietnamese and SUPER hard to understand. He couldn't pronounce my name...at all. So he was like, okay well you can start Monday, I'll email you the schedule. And I was like, okay... and he said he'd schedule me Monday through Thursday and leave the weekend for my other job. And I was like ...okay........
So I'm thinking when he emails me I'm just going to email him back and be like, it doesn't look like the two jobs are going to mesh very well...sorry, I can't accept the offer. And I'd be making $1.25 less at this job. So why would I give up shifts at Jamba to work there...for less? That just doesn't make any sense. Besides, after this month all my paychecks are going into savings, and I have a lot of people to see before I go, I don't want to spend my last summer in Nevada working 50 hours a week. That'd be sad. I want to enjoy time with my family and friends.
DF is going to fly down the day I'm moving to help me, and then drive back up with me. Jen doesn't seem stoked on it, because then she'll have to drive her car up alone, and DF and I will drive the trailer up. And I'm going to get this big huge guilt trip, I can already feel it.
Another thing that's been on my mind...I wish people could just be happy for me when they find out that DF and I are engaged. But all I ever get is skepticism. And that just seems incredibly rude to me. For someone to immediately just be like "Haven't you guys only been together for two months?" Yeah, I'll admit, it's super unorthodox. I will give you that. We aren't following the proper timeline. And I'm not going to be that rebellious twenty something that just thrives off the drama of her risque whirlwind engagement. I understand the skepticism, I do. And when it's coming from my parents, or his parents, or our close friends, I take heed. I understand where they're coming from. We have only been together for a short time. I completely acknowledge what it looks like.
The thing is though, all of my close friends are extremely supportive of us. My mom, my sister, and my sister in law are all incredibly happy for me. These are the people that are close to me, that care about me, that just want me to be happy. These are the people that know that I am a well grounded person, I know what I want in life, I know who I am and who I want to be, I know who I want to be with. And they all know that he is a wonderful person.
I'm nervous about telling his parents. They actually haven't met me yet, so we're waiting until after they do. They're pretty old fashioned, so I'm afraid they're going to frown upon the unorthodox way we came to be. He talks about me all the time to them, so they're really excited to meet me. But I don't think they know ...the depth of our relationship already.
I want more than anything for their blessing, and for my brother's blessing. And even though we're going to wait a year or two to actually tie the knot, if they'd prefer we wait longer, we will. They're going to be my family too, so I want them to love me. We just need to prove that we're not taking this decision lightly, that we're being mature about this, that we have everything planned out. I know that I personally need to prove to them that I intend to go places and be somebody, rather than just being a total shitbag and doing nothing with my life; being completely unmotivated and dragging their son down with me. I know that in the long run, all they want is for DF to be happy. And they will see how happy I make him, and over time, they will be happy for us. It's just going to be a shock at first.
Longest blog ever. I had a lot on my mind.
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