dear boyfriend.

okay.
something must be done about this.


i'm trying desperately to stay busy. but i'm day dreaming all the time and not getting anything done.

even when i'm not thinking about doing the deed i'm thinking about him in some capacity. it's sick. SICK. i'm all obsessive and love crazed. this is not me. this is not something i do. i mean...it has been to some extent. i'll get all infatuated nstuff. but i've never not been able to focus on anything else. and i sincerely cannot focus on anything else. i think about taking a nap with him, i think about eating with him, i think about watching tv with him, i think about doing a crossword puzzle with him, i think about kissing him, i think about walking on the beach with him.

GAH.


this is torture. it really is.
i can't sleep because i can't stop thinking about him.
and i don't want to tell him that.
because then he'd be all like ...weird.



i feel like pacing.
i legitimately don't know how i'm going to get through the next two days.
maybe not talking will help.
he has to work, thus, won't be able to talk to me until Friday pretty much.
maybe it'll help.
or make it worse.


it's probably a good thing we don't live together. i'd be glued to his side all the time. and then i'd get all clingy and panicky when he had to go to work. and that's never good.
i don't wanna show him my clingy side!
it'll pass...it'll pass.
it'll settle down, even out.
just right now he's everything to me. every thought, every motivation.


like i said. SICK. sickeningly sweet. and a little obsessive.



i am going to do my very best to just think about like...baseball. and things i have to do. like laundry. and going to the bank. and all that fun stuff. that's what i'm going to do. and i'm going to drift off into a pleasant slumber.


where i'll most likely dream about him. again. i swear, it's constant with me.