Missing my bear :(

Only five days and 18 hours.

I'm missing him so much right now. I've been missing him a lot this week; we haven't gotten to talk very much. He had Wednesday and Thursday off, but I worked both days, and Thursday night I went over to Jessica's for dinner, so we didn't get to talk that night. And he went to bed early Wednesday. He's always so tired when we talk...it feels like I only get the burnt out ends to his days.

it's better than nothing at all.

I'm glad I went to jess' house for dinner. I haven't hung out with friends in a long time, and I needed to get out of the apartment for a few hours. It's hard being here, especially when Jen is home. It's awkward and she's horrible to me. Makes me feel like nobody likes me. And then I hang out with Jess and Carrie and remember that I do have friends. These are the girls that are going to be my bridesmaids.

I'm meeting his parents next Friday. I'm unbelievably nervous. But I'm so excited to see him that that overrules the feelings of nervousness. I can't wait to see him. He is my everything, and I hate not being able to sleep in his arms every night. I'm being sappy, but I don't care. I'm in a sappy mood. I just miss waking up to him so much. It's the most contented, wonderful feeling in the world.

He found a house for us in Tillamook! But we may not be able to get it, only because we're not going to be able to move in until August, and it may be gone by then. It's 2 bedrooms, for $800 a month + utilities. And we're given $944 a month in BAH, so that's pretty much perfect. We're not making any money off of the BAH, but that's fine.

It's downtown, right next to a Safeway and pretty much within ten minutes of everything. There's a Starbucks in the Safeway that I'm going to apply to...it's a small town, so I'm nervous about finding a job. But when it comes to drink places, I'm probably a little more experienced/qualified than like...high school kids looking for jobs. So I hope I hope I hope I can get a job there. I just need to work like 25 or 30 hours a week to earn some extra money for us, and to occupy my time while I wait to go back to school.

I was thinking about getting my CNA, just for the hell of it, so that I can get a job at like a hospital or something. It's just semester of coursework then an intensive test, and then you get your CNA license and you're qualified to be a nurses assistant. And there are a lot of care-provider positions open in Tillamook as well. So that would certainly be useful.

Everything will be okay. Anytime I start to worry, or overanalyze, or get anxious about moving or about getting married, or any of it, I talk to the boy. And hearing his voice, and hearing how self assured and confident he is gives me confidence. It automatically soothes me. And then I don't worry. It's just when we go long stretches without more than a few text messages...those are the hard days. But being a military wife is about learning independence, and being strong for your husband so that he can do what he loves. He'd do the same for me, will do the same for me.