I was tired of it. Of always having to hide that I was married...having to lie to friends and family. Being treated like a girlfriend who would be replaced by a new girlfriend by his family. Simply tired of it. And when hubby's parents invited him to Hawaii...and he was going to go without a second thought, I was just done.
I don't expect his parents to treat me like his wife when they have no idea, but HE knows, and he should know better than to leave his wife for a week at random. That's just rude. "hey babe, I'm gonna go to hawaii and have an awesome time for a week. have fun...at work nstuff bye!"
So anyway, this has all really built up obviously, and we had a long talk about it, I fought tears, he fought tears, we fought the urge to kill each other, I gripped the hand made shank tightly in my hand, at times contemplating using it...but we finally came to an agreement. It's not fair to me to keep things a secret from his family. So, he's telling them next month when he goes down there for his birthday.
We're both really nervous about how they will react...they're probably going to be pretty mad that he hid it for so long. I'm nervous that they will hate me forever; always hold it against me, blame me. I'm not quite sure. I hope that they can get past it.
He's in South Carolina for two weeks for training...I'm using this time to search out things in my community that I would be interested in. I'm trying to find an art class to sign up for, thinking about trying out for a play, going to a pottery class and doing more yoga. Oh, and I did our taxes today! Wooo. I thought it would be really difficult, because I worked in two different states last year, and we got married. But it actually wasn't that difficult at all, yayyy. And we got $1500 back. Not a ton, but it'll do. It's all going in savings. Well, we will use whatever Austin needs to replace the clutch in the Mustang, but everything else is definitely going into savings. We need to start building up that account for the wedding.
Oh, we're paying for our own wedding. I told him, if it's money you're worried about; if you're worried your parents won't pay for the wedding if they know we're already married, then I don't want them to pay for it at all. We should just pay our own way. I figured out the budget for the wedding, and with travel expenses for the two of us, we're looking at about $10,000. So...we won't be able to afford a real honey moon, but at least we'll get a wedding. On our terms. Which really matters to me.
