It's been so long since I've updated. Everything is different.
We're in Kodiak, Alaska now. We've been here for a month and a half. Austin's schedule is crazy right now; he works 4 days and has 2 days off. 12 hour days. Every other month he works the night shift.
I just started my full time job and he's working night shift this month, so time together is scarce.
Then again, it's been so long since I've had a full time job that I feel like I don't have time for anything. It's so weird - I'm used to having more free time than I know what to do with, and now I hardly have time to get the laundry done and clean out the litter boxes.
It'll be fine once I get into a groove. I'm also getting used to not getting as much sleep, so I'm not functioning at 100%, but as I said, I'll hit a groove and learn to manage my time within the its new limits.
For now, we're just getting used to this new schedule and trying to not let the house go to shit...or let the cats starve.
Kodiak has been interesting so far. I haven't really felt like I live on an island yet, because I've been busy trying to put a life together here, but I have a feeling that once I'm comfortable in my job and have a recreational schedule set up, I'll begin to get a little stir crazy.
I'm working at Wells Fargo. It was my last choice, but unfortunately the multiple locations on my resume just scream Coast Guard and screw me out of a lot of possible jobs here. So this is what I got. I'm trying to be positive about it, but if I'm being completely honest, I'm not interested in pushing people into bank products and services that they don't need. I told Austin I would at least give it a shot, give it my best, and if after a months I decide I absolutely hate it or I'm terrible at it, I'll quit and find something else. I really do want to try, because I don't want to be a quitter, but I also don't want to be miserable. Maybe sometimes you have to know when to quit.
I joined a book club here, and I'm going to a "Ladies' Night" at a friends house this weekend in an attempt to meet people. Before I started the job, I was pretty down because it's hard to make friends being childless on a family oriented base. So I met a few people and started making connections. And then I found out I'd be working full time instead of part time. And right now I'm thinking that all I want to do for the weekend is sleep. :| Ha.
It's going good though. It is what it is. I kind of see my 20's as the time that I have to pay my dues. And I hope to god that I live a long life and get to reap the rewards.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Stuck.
All I can think is "Stuck, stuck, stuck".
It's just ringing in my head, over and over.
Most of the time, I read milspouse blogs and find women and families that are settled into their lives; they've hit their groove, they have their direction. Or maybe they're really good at pretending, I don't know. That's possible. I feel pangs of jealousy, though, whenever I see the happy smiling faces of their children.
These women, they have children. They have jobs. They have purpose. I go from being determined to build my life into what I want it to be to being depressed and discouraged by the successes of others. I don't know why I measure my success by others, but I always have.
I'm ready to be out of this rut.
It's just ringing in my head, over and over.
Most of the time, I read milspouse blogs and find women and families that are settled into their lives; they've hit their groove, they have their direction. Or maybe they're really good at pretending, I don't know. That's possible. I feel pangs of jealousy, though, whenever I see the happy smiling faces of their children.
These women, they have children. They have jobs. They have purpose. I go from being determined to build my life into what I want it to be to being depressed and discouraged by the successes of others. I don't know why I measure my success by others, but I always have.
I'm ready to be out of this rut.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
16 and NOT pregnant
So I have this great idea.
I often watch the show 16 and Pregnant...I know what you're thinking, but it's my own personal train wreck; it must be watched, no matter how painful it may be. A lot of people seem to think it glorifies teen pregnancy, leading to more teen pregnancies. What a vicious cycle. I dunno, maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Sure seems that way here in Oregon, but...I'm not here to judge.
But what if they had a show called 16 and NOT pregnant. And followed around four normal teenage girls who didn't have to worry about stretch marks and uterine cramping and middle of the night feedings. Who knows? Maybe other 16 year old girls would be like "Hey Mom! I'm NOT going to get pregnant, and then maybe I'll get to be on this awesome show!" And then angels would cry and Poseidon would rise from the sea once more and grant us all a thousand wishes.
I'm just saying.
The husband and I went to dinner the other night and there was a teen couple there with their baby. I have NO problem with babies in restaurants; more power to you if you can muster the energy to go out with one of those things. But their entire conversation revolved around the baby, and wipies and spit up. And it made me sad for them. They should have been talking about ...I don't know, Harry Potter? It's been a while, I don't know what's hip anymore.
I often watch the show 16 and Pregnant...I know what you're thinking, but it's my own personal train wreck; it must be watched, no matter how painful it may be. A lot of people seem to think it glorifies teen pregnancy, leading to more teen pregnancies. What a vicious cycle. I dunno, maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Sure seems that way here in Oregon, but...I'm not here to judge.
But what if they had a show called 16 and NOT pregnant. And followed around four normal teenage girls who didn't have to worry about stretch marks and uterine cramping and middle of the night feedings. Who knows? Maybe other 16 year old girls would be like "Hey Mom! I'm NOT going to get pregnant, and then maybe I'll get to be on this awesome show!" And then angels would cry and Poseidon would rise from the sea once more and grant us all a thousand wishes.
 | ||||||
| But probably not. |
The husband and I went to dinner the other night and there was a teen couple there with their baby. I have NO problem with babies in restaurants; more power to you if you can muster the energy to go out with one of those things. But their entire conversation revolved around the baby, and wipies and spit up. And it made me sad for them. They should have been talking about ...I don't know, Harry Potter? It's been a while, I don't know what's hip anymore.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
And we haven't killed each other yet.
The husband and I celebrated our anniversary on July 31st. Our first anniversary. As in, we're both still somehow alive and made it through the first terrible year of merging two lives together and constant compromise.
...anyway. It was a lovely two days spent in Lincoln City.
Rose petals. Rose petals people! This was one romantic room. Oh, and did I mention the jacuzzi tub overlooking the ocean? In which we sipped champagne? I wish I could say that we gazed lovingly into each others eyes as the sunset on the Pacific, but it was cloudy so we didn't get a good sunset and we were watching America's Got Talent. But it was still magical.
We started the day off shopping at the giant outlet mall in LC, trying to kill time as we waited for our room to be ready. Check in time was 4 o'clock, which is a little extreme, but hey. Who am I to judge?
When the room was finally ready we were already tired and took a little nap in this here bed and watched Cake Boss. Only we can take such a romantic setting and turn it into home, haha.
We went down to the ocean to check out the little tide pools in front of our hotel, took a lot of pictures. Walked along the beach, reminisced, worked up an appetite, and eventually sauntered on down to Kyllo's, the restaurant we always go to when we're in LC. We got the best seat we've ever gotten there! Right in front of the giant picture windows overlooking the ocean, it was awesome. We always get put in some corner, or across the room, and quite frankly it's kind of a bummer.
When we got home, the jacuzzi tubbing/america's got talent watching began. And then we both got really tired/drunk from the wine and fell asleep watching Law and Order. It was almost like our anniversary with TV. The three of us have a wonderful relationship.
The next day was awesome though. We went to Pig n' Pancake, the one we went to the morning before he proposed. Then went to the hill we climbed, but it looked like there'd been a landslide and it was even steeper this time around, so we opted not to climb it again.
Instead, we rented a boat on Devil's Lake and had a picnic and lounged around for a couple hours. It was super relaxing. I told Austin at the time 'I'm going to hold onto this memory while I'm at work the next 8 days in a row.' And I am. Holding on. For dear life.
We came home after boating, both kind of tired. We lounged a bit, went to the gym, ate dinner, then went for a ten mile bike ride around Tillamook. We got to see the sun set over one of the cow fields. We had a really good time, and I was proud of myself for actually biking ten miles.
What really happened is we got about three miles from the house, and we turned a corner. It was downhill for a long ways, and Austin goes "Do you just want to turn around now?" And I go "No...I want to keep going." And he goes "I don't want to have to walk back with you in the dark." And I didn't even say anything, I just started riding. And I went all the way around town in a full loop which turned out to be about 10 1/2 miles. He thinks he was encouraging me. I say it was the most discouraging encouragement ever. But whatever, we did it.
So that was our on year anniversary. It was great, and I hope we can last another year without one of us shanking the other.
...anyway. It was a lovely two days spent in Lincoln City.
We started the day off shopping at the giant outlet mall in LC, trying to kill time as we waited for our room to be ready. Check in time was 4 o'clock, which is a little extreme, but hey. Who am I to judge?
When the room was finally ready we were already tired and took a little nap in this here bed and watched Cake Boss. Only we can take such a romantic setting and turn it into home, haha.
We went down to the ocean to check out the little tide pools in front of our hotel, took a lot of pictures. Walked along the beach, reminisced, worked up an appetite, and eventually sauntered on down to Kyllo's, the restaurant we always go to when we're in LC. We got the best seat we've ever gotten there! Right in front of the giant picture windows overlooking the ocean, it was awesome. We always get put in some corner, or across the room, and quite frankly it's kind of a bummer.
When we got home, the jacuzzi tubbing/america's got talent watching began. And then we both got really tired/drunk from the wine and fell asleep watching Law and Order. It was almost like our anniversary with TV. The three of us have a wonderful relationship.
Instead, we rented a boat on Devil's Lake and had a picnic and lounged around for a couple hours. It was super relaxing. I told Austin at the time 'I'm going to hold onto this memory while I'm at work the next 8 days in a row.' And I am. Holding on. For dear life.
What really happened is we got about three miles from the house, and we turned a corner. It was downhill for a long ways, and Austin goes "Do you just want to turn around now?" And I go "No...I want to keep going." And he goes "I don't want to have to walk back with you in the dark." And I didn't even say anything, I just started riding. And I went all the way around town in a full loop which turned out to be about 10 1/2 miles. He thinks he was encouraging me. I say it was the most discouraging encouragement ever. But whatever, we did it.
So that was our on year anniversary. It was great, and I hope we can last another year without one of us shanking the other.
Friday, July 29, 2011
To the assholes.
I'd like to dedicate this post to all the customers over the years that I have literally wanted to throw myself at.
To every single Don that has ever ordered food, and felt the need to spell his name for me. As though the name D-O-N incites some intrinsic need for an immediate spelling by it's owner. Thank you, Don, for reassuring me that, though I am going to college (as an ENGLISH major, no less), you do in fact see me as a complete slack jawed idiot who could never hope to spell such a challenging and glorious name as Don.
To the grown adults, who, I assume have been to restaurants before, but still apparently have no idea how to read a menu. Where are our sandwiches? Why, they're on the menu. The one page menu. Front page only. Right in the middle. Really, you can't miss them. How much does everything cost? Once again...right on the menu. Oh, don't worry, everybody asks that; they must all be just as experienced with dining out as you are. Do we have french fries? Well, you've been reading our one page menu for ten minutes now, and as far as I can tell, they're still not on there. No, we don't have french fries.
To all the customers who think they are the only people in the restaurant, nay -- the only people in the world. Yes, of course I have time for you to ask me about every single dish on the menu in great detail. Can I go into the freezer and look up the ingredients for the bread on the box it came in? Sure. You want me to call the morning cook and find out if that one salad is dairy free instead of you just ordering from the other seven or eight choices? Of course!
To the customers who either a) think it's hilarious to send me on six or seven trips back to the kitchen for various objects or b) are actually that oblivious that they don't realize they've sent me back six or seven times. Can you get an extra fork? No problem, I'll be right back with that. Here ya go -- oh, you want oyster crackers for your soup...alright, sure thing, I'll attend to all of my other customers after I sprint back to the kitchen for your damn crackers. Enjoy your -- some ketchup for your screaming child's hotdog? Of course. Can I get you anything else while I'm back there? No. Okay. Be right back. And inevitably, dear customer, I come back with the ketchup and you need a knife to cut the hotdog. No, no, don't worry about the throng of customers waiting for me to take their orders, you are the only person in the world that matters.
To all the tourist customers during the summer that know they will never see us again, so don't bother to leave any trace of a tip. Anywhere. It's fine, I love working in 90 degree temperatures for 8 hours straight with no breaks and nothing to eat to the point that I'm shaking as I'm bringing you your food that smells oh so divine but will get nowhere near the back of my throat. Seriously. You are the sunshine of my life, and just seeing your smiling face makes up for making minimum wage and the start of a serious shoulder problem.
Whew...I feel a lot better now. There are a lot more of you, dear, kind, considerate patrons of our eating establishment that I wish I had the time to write letters to, but I think I got to the best of you. And the rest may some day have a small girl hurled at them from across the counter. But until then you'll be greeted with a smile as I explain the same things 275 times in one day.
*Let it be understood that I work at a deli. It is in no way, shape, or form a full service restaurant. If it were, customers would be required to leave some sort of a tip; however, it is not, so most of them don't. Regardless of this fact, I still get roped into full service more often than not. I take the orders, I cook the food, I take the food out to the customer, I bus the customer's dishes, I wash the dishes. Granted, on busy days I have help and we all take turns doing all of these things, but at a tourist destination in the middle of summer it's lucky that more shanks aren't being forged in the make-shift backroom where we wolf down lunches in-between rushes.
To every single Don that has ever ordered food, and felt the need to spell his name for me. As though the name D-O-N incites some intrinsic need for an immediate spelling by it's owner. Thank you, Don, for reassuring me that, though I am going to college (as an ENGLISH major, no less), you do in fact see me as a complete slack jawed idiot who could never hope to spell such a challenging and glorious name as Don.
 |
| Welcome to the Don club, where you will go prematurely bald, and you will SPELL damn it! |
To the grown adults, who, I assume have been to restaurants before, but still apparently have no idea how to read a menu. Where are our sandwiches? Why, they're on the menu. The one page menu. Front page only. Right in the middle. Really, you can't miss them. How much does everything cost? Once again...right on the menu. Oh, don't worry, everybody asks that; they must all be just as experienced with dining out as you are. Do we have french fries? Well, you've been reading our one page menu for ten minutes now, and as far as I can tell, they're still not on there. No, we don't have french fries.
To all the customers who think they are the only people in the restaurant, nay -- the only people in the world. Yes, of course I have time for you to ask me about every single dish on the menu in great detail. Can I go into the freezer and look up the ingredients for the bread on the box it came in? Sure. You want me to call the morning cook and find out if that one salad is dairy free instead of you just ordering from the other seven or eight choices? Of course!
To the customers who either a) think it's hilarious to send me on six or seven trips back to the kitchen for various objects or b) are actually that oblivious that they don't realize they've sent me back six or seven times. Can you get an extra fork? No problem, I'll be right back with that. Here ya go -- oh, you want oyster crackers for your soup...alright, sure thing, I'll attend to all of my other customers after I sprint back to the kitchen for your damn crackers. Enjoy your -- some ketchup for your screaming child's hotdog? Of course. Can I get you anything else while I'm back there? No. Okay. Be right back. And inevitably, dear customer, I come back with the ketchup and you need a knife to cut the hotdog. No, no, don't worry about the throng of customers waiting for me to take their orders, you are the only person in the world that matters.
To all the tourist customers during the summer that know they will never see us again, so don't bother to leave any trace of a tip. Anywhere. It's fine, I love working in 90 degree temperatures for 8 hours straight with no breaks and nothing to eat to the point that I'm shaking as I'm bringing you your food that smells oh so divine but will get nowhere near the back of my throat. Seriously. You are the sunshine of my life, and just seeing your smiling face makes up for making minimum wage and the start of a serious shoulder problem.
 |
| Maybe if we smile as we slink away she won't notice there's no tip... |
Whew...I feel a lot better now. There are a lot more of you, dear, kind, considerate patrons of our eating establishment that I wish I had the time to write letters to, but I think I got to the best of you. And the rest may some day have a small girl hurled at them from across the counter. But until then you'll be greeted with a smile as I explain the same things 275 times in one day.
*Let it be understood that I work at a deli. It is in no way, shape, or form a full service restaurant. If it were, customers would be required to leave some sort of a tip; however, it is not, so most of them don't. Regardless of this fact, I still get roped into full service more often than not. I take the orders, I cook the food, I take the food out to the customer, I bus the customer's dishes, I wash the dishes. Granted, on busy days I have help and we all take turns doing all of these things, but at a tourist destination in the middle of summer it's lucky that more shanks aren't being forged in the make-shift backroom where we wolf down lunches in-between rushes.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Going camping!
Geez, I really need to be better about updating this thing!
I feel like an old person...not acquainted with all this new fangled nonsense!
Just kidding, I'm just lazy.
But anyway, life is trucking along, as it always tends to do. Things are actually going really great. First of all, things are all lined up for school. I'm going to have just enough saved by the end of the summer to supplement my student loans, and I'm all signed up for classes! Thank. God. The wonderful administrative staff at my university like to drag their feet/are too incredibly saddled with thousands of students per staff member, that I have to constantly be the squeaky wheel to get any grease. So I've been squeaking my little head off to get things done, and BAM! I have a full schedule. And I'll hopefully be all done by summer of 2013.
Hopefully...Austin is most likely being shipped off to A school around that time. So I'm hoping I won't have to face a long distance relationship...again. I shouldn't complain though. At least my husband isn't getting deployed like many other military wives' husbands. I'm lucky he's in the coast guard and he gets to come home and cuddle with me.
Anyway, the marriage is treating me well. It seems lately I've been loving him more and more; it's possible that it's because our one year anniversary is at the end of this month, but I'm not sure that's quite it. Things have just been really, really good. I came home from work yesterday and Austin had cleaned the whole house, including the refrigerator, and the bathroom. And he had done all my laundry, AND hung it up. I was so impressed. He's been doing it a lot lately too. I've been working a lot more, so on a lot of his days off he has nothing to do really, and he just cleans. It's awesome. And I never ever feel taken for granted anymore. I'm just really happy; things have been going really well and we're celebrating our anniversary on August 1st because he's going to be in Washington on our actual anniversary. We're going to Lincoln City, where it all started.
Oh, and I made him an awesome scrap book of our first year together on Shutterfly.com. I got it in the mail the other day and it turned out SO great. I wanted to do something with paper, because the first anniversary is the paper anniversary. He said he's been working on something...I'm interested to know what it is.
Alright, well, I am off to finish the laundry. Work tomorrow... We're going camping this weekend. His family is having a huge reunion down near Bend. I'm pretty excited to get away from here for a few days. Away from work. I'm excited to see his family too.
Until next time!
I feel like an old person...not acquainted with all this new fangled nonsense!
Just kidding, I'm just lazy.
But anyway, life is trucking along, as it always tends to do. Things are actually going really great. First of all, things are all lined up for school. I'm going to have just enough saved by the end of the summer to supplement my student loans, and I'm all signed up for classes! Thank. God. The wonderful administrative staff at my university like to drag their feet/are too incredibly saddled with thousands of students per staff member, that I have to constantly be the squeaky wheel to get any grease. So I've been squeaking my little head off to get things done, and BAM! I have a full schedule. And I'll hopefully be all done by summer of 2013.
Hopefully...Austin is most likely being shipped off to A school around that time. So I'm hoping I won't have to face a long distance relationship...again. I shouldn't complain though. At least my husband isn't getting deployed like many other military wives' husbands. I'm lucky he's in the coast guard and he gets to come home and cuddle with me.
Anyway, the marriage is treating me well. It seems lately I've been loving him more and more; it's possible that it's because our one year anniversary is at the end of this month, but I'm not sure that's quite it. Things have just been really, really good. I came home from work yesterday and Austin had cleaned the whole house, including the refrigerator, and the bathroom. And he had done all my laundry, AND hung it up. I was so impressed. He's been doing it a lot lately too. I've been working a lot more, so on a lot of his days off he has nothing to do really, and he just cleans. It's awesome. And I never ever feel taken for granted anymore. I'm just really happy; things have been going really well and we're celebrating our anniversary on August 1st because he's going to be in Washington on our actual anniversary. We're going to Lincoln City, where it all started.
Oh, and I made him an awesome scrap book of our first year together on Shutterfly.com. I got it in the mail the other day and it turned out SO great. I wanted to do something with paper, because the first anniversary is the paper anniversary. He said he's been working on something...I'm interested to know what it is.
Alright, well, I am off to finish the laundry. Work tomorrow... We're going camping this weekend. His family is having a huge reunion down near Bend. I'm pretty excited to get away from here for a few days. Away from work. I'm excited to see his family too.
Until next time!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Back from vacation.
I haven't updated in a long time!
We just got back from Nevada a few days ago. We went to visit because Austin's brother graduated high school, and they go on this huge camping/riding trip. Other than the food poisoning, it was a pretty good trip. I went to Lake Tahoe, got my hair cut (10 inches!!), went to this AWESOME gay bar in Reno and had a total freaking blast, got delicious sushi with all the people I wanted to see while I was there, and sang "Man, I feel like a woman" at a karaoke bar.
There was also time spent with family...it was nice to see my mom, but she's definitely got her own routine. A routine she's not a huge fan of breaking. So two days is about the limit with us before we start wanting to rip each other's eye balls out. Sara came and stayed with mom while I was there too, and that was ... It was good to see her, but all she wants to do any time we meet up is complain about how terrible her life is. Which is mentally draining. She doesn't want to hear about my life in any capacity, she only wants me to listen to her. So...it's a tad one sided, and it's frustrating.
Mostly, it was a great break from work. Before I left it was getting pretty bad...like, one more person spells their three letter name for me, bad. I swear to god...something about the name DON makes people want to spell it out. Because I apparently look like a half-wit. I was literally planning in my head how to go about quitting; what i'd say, what i'd do.
Being back isn't so bad though; I expected it to be a lot worse. It'll probably get pretty bad again, I'm sure...but maybe I have a month or so where I'll be alright. I hope I have a month or so, or some unsuspecting slack-jawed tourist is going to DIE.
...wait, is she serious?
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